well. just another 24hrs to 2007.

it's been truly an eventful 2007 i'd say.

but it's been a year of painful love to remember for the rest of my life.

2006 made me. no, 2006 caused me to be who i am now.

january. a new girl. i thought it would last. love was in the air. romance filled my life. even though we weren't suppose to behave this way.

febuary. same girl. things started getting shaky. but we still went out fine.

march. same girl. from bad to worse. everything ended. starting of endless days and nights of tears. started accepting God.

april. i fucked it up. things totally ended. i still continue to pray.

may. things were officially gone. but i chose not to believe.

june. totally ended. my depression started to set in. political war started in CCA.

july. still in depression mode. the biggest political crisis in any CCA history.

august. halfway thru depression. the girl whom i love now came into my life. things were playful at first. battle of politics won. became HR.

september. things somehow started changing. i started falling again.

october. i trusted you. i gave you all my trust, 'cos you made me believe in love again.

november. i fucked things up again as usual.

december. another end. i don't know. things are still pending.

a brief summary of my year 2006. a year of love 2006 has been. but pain has been the foremost of 2006. and not to forget buckets of tears. and endless fights that my brothers and i reigned victorious.

but what does it all mean? does it prove anything at all? victory doesn't mean anything to me at all these days. we've won nothing. i don't feel any sense of victory.

this year. my mother predicted it's a bad year for me to love. and truly her prediction came through again. damn it. she's a bloody prophet. i better start believing her for 2007 too. 'cos 2007 is gonna be worse.

not to forget. my dreams this year never failed me. okay maybe half are wrong. but the remaining half were true. who knows. maybe the other half may come true. not the time yet maybe.

well. been a slow saturday. it feels like many months back when the other girl gave me the same thing. we chatted, quarrelled and chatted. it feels weird. i still think of you as my gf. but you don't feel the same way. reason why i told you to face reality is because if you truly love me. you wouldn't avoid my despair and questions. and if you really love me, you would accept my past. not like it matters anymore. but nvm. went to pick mom up and went to eat. we have the same hair colour dye now. came home. took direct bus to millenia walk just to eat burger king. how lame can i get -.- after that took direct bus home. nothing much.

well. i don't really know what i want for 2007. it really feels like i've lived a long life after being through so many things for 2006. or rather so much shit.

love, just another four letter word. i thought i could believe you candice. you replenished my hopes and my dreams. but it's just another dream again. never to be. only to me, in time memorial.

2007, i pray for a better year.

dear god, forgive me of 2006, i've sinned greatly, but i only wanted to achieve what was right for my CCA. i'm sorry. events caused me to do so. i had to. forgive me. amen.